Stuff and Things

• meaty march: after four weeks of eating nothing but fresh veggies and fish — and feeling fantastic physically — i undid any benefit it gave my body in the first three days of march by consuming an obscene meat cornucopia that included bacon burgers and tacos filled with carne asada, carnitas, al pastor and birria. i felt guilty about exactly NONE of it, even when the stomach pains rendered me blob-like on the sofa. but instead of gripping my stomach and moaning, “what have i done?” i was overwhelmed with a powerful peace of mind that, no, i can never be a vegetarian, and that’s ok.



• the house: tax time is always my favorite time to be a homeowner and this year was no exception. i have plenty of domestic things to spend my refund on, among them a major remodel to the house’s exterior that i’m still ironing out with my contractor. it will be a big job, lasting several weeks and costing a fortune. i’m scared shitless, but excited beyond measure as well. and after it’s done, i’ll be another step closer to living in my dream house, which, granted, is probably a house i will buy 10 or 20 years from now, but with each passing month, i get closer.



• Landmark Forum: has anyone (besides Juan) done this shit? the Landmark Forum is this weekend-long self-improvement seminar that will either leave me brainwashed with the belief that i can talk to aliens, transformed into the best possible version of myself or totally unmoved and still ridiculously cynical. i signed up for it upon the urging of my friend Juan and have wasted many hours reading about it online, where reports vacillate between describing it as a cult and as the best thing that can happen to anyone. clearly, i am intrigued and must investigate for myself if for no other reason than to bring my cherished readers a good blog post. expect it sometime in april.



• more importantly: as everyone knows, tax refund means spa weekend (in addition to home repairs). for two nights and three days, my girlfriends and i will get rubbed and scrubbed at a day spa in beautiful Ojai, California. okay, Ojai is not that beautiful, but i better be after my facial, hour-long massage and seaweed body wrap. there will also be fine dining (and likely overeating) and maybe a yoga class if i’m feeling really ambitious. but mostly, there will be rest and relaxation and enjoying the company of two of my best friends during a weekend of shameless bourgeoisie pampering. i can’t wait!

Slow News Month

not a lot happening around these parts lately. august has been relatively relaxing, mostly spent with good friends and family, squeezing every last drop out of the summer with nightly cookouts and cocktails. work has been manageable, sleep has been fulfilling and highs have been in the 70s. i’ve been loving on the lax, perhaps a little too much as evidenced by my lack of updates.

the biggest non-event for me lately has probably been this inexplicable, unwelcome uptick in back pain. i wish i could attribute it to something sexy, like trying out a new position with Mo, but the truth is we haven’t swung from the chandeliers since that one time that resulted in a trip to the ER. plus, we’ve never had chandeliers to swing from. they are so tacky. i prefer disco balls.

truth is i don’t know what the truth is, but my back has been aching like an old person who has an achy back. luckily, my doctor rescued me from having to spend days being unproductive in bed while attached to a heating pad by prescribing some super-powered vicodin, which did much to take the edge off and lighten my mood.

within 10 minutes of taking one of those magic little pills, i became one with the rainbows of life, suddenly teleported into a meadow where unicorns drank from a stream made of chocolate. i think willy wonka might have been there, too. he was talking about giving me his chocolate factory!

he said, “you know what happened to the little girl who got everything she wanted, milla?” i replied, “she was on vicodin?” i think he said “yes” or maybe something about “living happily ever after,” but the phone rang and disturbed my reverie, or maybe i just dreamt it did.

wait, where was i going with this again? i think i may still be feeling some residual side effects of that magic little pill, which include nonsensical euphoria. they also include liver damage and frozen bowels. fun ride, this vicodin train. thankfully, my back has been feeling much better this week, which has allowed me to stop worrying that i may need another back surgery, at least for the short term.

fear of needing another back surgery is a constant in my life. i could wake up with a toothache and, by noon, spin it into a diagnosis of Damaged Vertebrae Requiring Surgery. i’m a jewish hypochondriac like that. because of all this, i’m thinking that it’s time to find a chiropractor to visit regularly for a little back cracking. it’s either that or limiting the chandelier swinging.

in other news, i’m going on vacation soon. this is exciting for many obvious reasons, the greatest of which is NOT HAVING TO WORK while on vacation. my only hope is that i don’t return from break suicidal and forlorn like i usually do.

the plan is for Mo and i to leave around Labor Day and take a leisurely drive up the California coast and into Oregon, stopping in various cities along the way. our ultimate destination is Portland, a city i have not visited in over 10 years, to attend my baby cousin’s wedding (he’s 25).

i’m sure there will be much eating on this vacation, in addition to sleeping, sightseeing, socializing, picture-taking and even some chandelier-swinging. the only problem with this vacation is that it has not already begun. i’m all ants in the pants about it, checking the days off the calendar like a prisoner awaiting a parole hearing. only a few more weeks until i’m free to run through the meadow with the unicorns and drink from the chocolate stream.

Stuff and Things

• the results are in: layoff week at work came and went and left me still employed. sadly i can’t say the same for 820 coworkers who got the boot. i feel bad for them but happy for myself. i did not want to be in the jobless boat. not in this economy and especially not after seeing my parents and countless friends suddenly become jobless, panicked and struggling. i know strife builds character and all, but i’m ok with being vapid if it means i get to eat.


• speaking of eating: Mo and i have been superchef bandits lately, making feasts for ourselves and our friends that have included such gastronomical masterpieces as Mo’s magic gumbo, my world-famous gazpacho, homemade rosemary bread, ravioli from scratch, endless grilled meats and, of course, many mixed drinks. our goal is to make restaurant-quality food that dissuades us from spending money on eating at restaurants. so far it’s been working. we are fat and happy.


• Lake Wobegone: Mo and i recently attended a taping of Garrison Keillor’s Prairie Home Companion at the Greek Theater in Los Feliz. the show was quite fantastic and featured great guest appearances by the likes of sheryl crow, martin sheen and the super butch kd lang, who looks and sounds more and more like roy orbison every time i see her. we must have been the youngest people in the crowd, save for the two teenagers who sat behind us, likely dragged to the show by their parents who, along with us, had to endure constant mutterings of “this isn’t even funny!” that’s when i realized how expansive the generational gap really was — to these kids i was part of the unfunny “them” that included their parents. i was part of the geriatric crowd that found MTV too racy. i shuddered at the thought, but only for a moment, before wrapping my shawl tighter around me and resuming my toe-tapping.


• and the livin’s easy: i have been finding myself uncharacteristically excited for summer. the hot weather i still dread — along with the ants that are already marching through the kitchen — but i’m oddly achy for the socializing that comes with the season, and i’m really hoping that fireball in the sky helps energize me into finally cleaning out the garage. i’m also excited by the fireworks i see popping nightly now in my neighborhood, which will culminate in the killer fourth of july show that is just weeks away. then there are the perfect, warm nights that allow me to eat dinner on the deck again, and even the 100-degree days when i can wash the dogs with the garden hose before turning it on myself.

Smiling With My Eyes

my computer’s been acting moody lately so i’ve been rummaging through old files in search of things to delete when i stumbled upon my absolute favorite picture of myself. i know how vain that might sound, but look at the picture. it’s not exactly the softly lit Sears glamour shot where my hair is teased and i’m wearing hooker makeup. (i have one of those, too, but you’ll never see it up here!)

the photo was taken almost six years ago when i first began writing this thing, and was featured in an entry published on June 11, 2003. i was in europe on a work-abroad school program at that time, acting incredibly jet set, while completing a summer internship at Voice of America. those were the glorious, pre-leaky fridge days, the grad student at USC days when i wrote class papers that were published in the LA Times.

those were the days of taut skin and lofty ideals when i drank wine from a box and spent countless afternoons at Souplantation, eating and studying for hours. i know i romanticize those days as being some tender age of innocence with limitless possibilities when the fact is i was just as cranky then as i am today. still, a girl is entitled to her delusions, especially when she’s parading around europe in a ridiculous wig.

if i recall the story behind the photo correctly, i was in Brussels that weekend on a class trip, visiting NATO and EU headquarters like a serious journalist. in the evening, my classmates and i went out to have a few drinks and discuss nuclear disarmament with the locals when we happened upon a bachelor party in full swing at the bar. the guys were british (of course!), also in town for just the weekend and dressed inexplicably like austin powers, hence the wig, glasses and teeth.

i remember putting all three on and then refusing to part with them for the rest of the night, despite the guys’ repeated requests to “give them back already, will you, crazy lady?” fuck them, i was having fun and charming everyone around me with my austin powers impersonation. YEAH, BABY!

the girl behind me in the photo is now the world-famous journalist Melissa Gonzalo, anchor/reporter for an NBC news affiliate in Phoenix, though back then she was just my classmate Gonzo. we had fun that summer, back in those salad days when having fun was the thing that mattered most.

Stuff and Things

• the hell on earth that has defined 2009 is continuing well into March. my latest gripe with this year involves a household surprise in the form of a leaky fridge that ruined my kitchen floor and spawned all sorts of fun mold. this has necessitated the tearing out of half the kitchen, in order to replace it, as well as several utterances of “crap covered shit fucking hell,” “fucking ass damn shit hole” and “kill me now.”
  
  this is an ongoing kitchen nightmare for me that will be documented, with photos, in a future blog post once my brain learns to process the event with real sentences that contain more than just a string of expletives. in short, it’s been a fucking nightmare and i’ve declared 2009 Year of the Suck.


• in another sign that the apocalypse is nigh, i saw Tom Cruise during lunch the other week. i don’t have a photo of this encounter so feel free to call me a liar, but i’m positive it was him walking around downtown LA. he was sans wife and child, accompanied instead by a few filmmaker-looking dudes, chewing gum and wearing the type of obnoxious sunglasses that only celebrities wear.
  
  i saw him with two coworkers while enjoying a lovely lunch outdoors at Cafe Pinot. he was hanging around the garden area near the Central Library, while we sat transfixed just 20 feet away, gawking at The Crazy like he was some exotic zoo animal while making snarky comments about his height. none of us approached him, and i resisted the urge to yell “Free Katie” despite thinking i would if i ever saw Tom Cruise. then i returned to the office with my coworkers, where we told everyone within earshot that we saw Tom Cruise at lunch. our coworkers were rightfully impressed and we became the coolest kids in the office that day.


• a photo i took in san francisco a million years ago on a lousy camera was included in the Schmap San Francisco guide! man, this photography stuff is EASY. i actually didn’t ask for my photo to be included; the editors found it on my Flickr photostream and said, “hey, can we use this? we won’t pay you, but you’ll be famous on the internets.”
  
  despite already being famous on the internets, i agreed because i’m a nice person. the photo was taken at the California Academy of Sciences in Golden Gate Park and even features a cameo of Mo (at left, in black jacket) walking toward the entrance. i’m embarrassed to say we ditched the place right after i took the photo since the line was too long and admission was too pricey, but the readers of the Schmap guide will never know this as they’ll certainly be too busy admiring my fancy camerawork.


• Mo and i attended a walking tour through “historic” Highland Park, where we saw a bunch of cool craftsmen houses in the Sycamore Grove part of town. most of the houses were built in the early 20th century and made me drool with envy because they were so epic looking. it was neat tour, made neater by the fact that it was led by local historian Charles Fisher, who knows pretty much everything there is to know about the area, so much so that he wrote the definitive book on Highland Park, a book i bought for Mo when we first moved here.
  
  i learned a lot of very important things on the tour, none of which i will ever be able to recall since my memory has a way of resisting the admission of historical facts, but the tour was an awesome experience nonetheless as it allowed me to enter lots of strangers’ homes and look at the way they live, which is one of my favorite pastimes. i took some photos of the tour (in case anyone cares). i only hope that one of them will be published in a Schmap guide of Highland Park someday.

Hail to the Hail

LA has been acting a lot like Seattle this past week with rain nonstop and hailstorms that have covered my deck in slushy ice. it was the closest i had come to snow in many years so i got excited and took a picture of it. then i called my parents and friends to ask them what they thought about all that crazy hail. “it’s crazy, right? it’s almost like snow, but wetter like rain!”

this was met with many what-the-hell-are-you-talking abouts, which leads me to believe that the hail only landed on my house because i couldn’t find a single other person to agree that a hailstorm happened. but it happened, and it lasted for a good half hour and sounded like popcorn in the microwave. the ice took its sweet time melting, and i stared at it for a long while, pretending it was snow and marveling at the idea of Los Angeles having a winter that actually felt wintery.

as cold as it was the night of the hail — in the 40s, brrrrr! — snow seemed like a real possibility, and i imagined making snow angels in the mornings like i’ve seen people do in the movies. then i’d put on my wool socks and have a cup of cocoa, even though i don’t like cocoa so it would taste more like coffee, while the fireplace snapped and crackled. then Mo and i would play board games and make s’mores.

i’m sure my friends who live in places where snow is real and not imaginary will be quick to advise me (as they have before) to put away my tomahawk and headdress and quit embarrassing myself with the Appalachian snow dance i seem to do every winter, because snow is actually more pain than pleasure, especially when it lasts for months and requires constant shoveling of the driveway. and i’ll admit that i only want snow if it matches my romanticized notion of it being all about puppies, rainbows and sugar sprinkles on cookies. the icy roads and frozen limbs do not enter the fantasy.

yet each winter, like clockwork, i find myself buying way more jackets than i need and getting excited whenever rain is predicted in the five-day forecast. i find myself imagining that my coffee with half-and-half is really cocoa with marshmallows and that the central heat at home is really a fireplace in the ceiling. at work, i find myself gazing at the snow-capped mountains i can see from my window, wondering at how cold it is over there and thinking i should drive there immediately to find out and test the warmth of my new jacket.

i’m sure my fixation on snow is a lame case of the grass being greener — snow being whiter? — as i would never entertain the idea of moving away from sunny LA, precisely because the weather here is so damn good. and i’m sure it does not go beyond wanting to play in the snow for maybe a week or two every year, provided i don’t have to dig my car out of it each morning to get to work. still, it would be nice to melt a snowflake on my tongue or build a snowman with a carrot for its nose. it would be nice to experience a season the rest of the planet understands.

My New Camera

it’s a Canon Powershot G10 and it’s caused me to be all sorts of trigger happy lately. i must have taken over 1,000 photos already, mostly of the dogs, who offer a never-ending canvas of cute. the photo at left is my favorite of the bunch.

i didn’t have a particular reason for getting the new camera besides just wanting it really badly, which is usually a good enough reason for me. and when the holidays rolled around, i asked santa for the camera in a lengthy letter i sent to the north pole. of course, i also asked him to bring joy to the world and peace on earth in addition to the camera.

sadly, he didn’t bring any of those things, because he’s a fat, fictional, lazy bastard who wouldn’t come to a jew’s house anyway, so i picked up extra freelance work, made some cash and bought the camera for myself. hear me roar, santa!

overall, i loooove this camera and have spent many days with it strapped to my neck like a dumb tourist. i can’t lie, though. it intimidates the hell out of me with its fancy knobs, switches and settings, none of which i have any mastery over. but i’ve been reading photography sites galore in an attempt to figure out what an aperture does.

it also frustrates the hell out of me, as any shot i’ve taken and liked has been the result of blind luck. i’m not exaggerating when i say that all the good shots i’ve fallen ass backwards into, which only reinforces my belief that photography is really about being in the right place at the right time. sure, having a good camera with nifty settings that you actually know how to use helps, but i don’t really consider picture-taking a fine art, at least not in the same way that carving a figure out of a block of marble is.

still, i have seen many beautiful photos, both online and in some of Mo’s books, that have been very inspiring. but whenever i’ve tried to stage a shot i think might look nice or even conduct a photo shoot with the dogs, the light ends up sucking or the dogs end up moving, leaving me with a zillion images of an underexposed, blurry tail in the corner of the frame. i am, however, determined to improve my skills (though please shoot me if i begin to call photography my “hobby”).

the good news is that i can finally discard the awful FujiFilm hand-me-down from my parents i have been using for years, a camera so old and ugly that it has been discontinued. also good is that the photos i will post here should be of higher quality from now on, which means don’t expect to see many images of my old and ugly mug as the G10’s intense resolution renders the pores on my face big enough to swim in. instead, please accept photos of the cuties. here’s another one.

Bang Bang!

after our gay escapades, Mo and i joined mr. straight-against-hate himself, Dave Williams, for a day at the firing range, where we shot some semi-automatic handguns. we thought ourselves mighty well-rounded for supporting both gay and gun rights in the same weekend, hoping that legalizing gay marriage would take us one step closer to being able to marry our guns, which is the only reason to support gay marriage anyway.

this was my second time at the range and i’m sad to report that my aim sucked harder than it did the first time. what did improve was my comfort with having a loaded gun in my hand, which caused all sorts of liberal guilt last time, all of which i managed to transcend this time by simply not giving a fuck. in fact, i liked it, looked forward to it, wanted to feel that cold steel in my hand so i could go bang bang all over the target. and when it was done, after i had blasted my paper intruder to shreds and assuaged my homicidal tendencies, Mo and i had burgers and beer. then we got matching flame tattoos and mullet haircuts. in short, it was a fantastic day.

another fantastic day came in the form of a day trip to san diego. Mo and i went on a three brewery tour (Green Flash Brewing, Ale Smith & Stone), finishing off our tour with dinner at the Stone Brewery, and coming home with five growlers filled with the season’s greatest microbrews. we also spent some time at gorgeous Balboa Park, where we walked hand-in-hand through the park’s cactus and rose gardens, discussing all the landscaping we don’t have money to do, but picking out the plants we would like to see in our fictional garden should we win the lottery next year.

work has been a bit worrisome lately. not only has my company fallen prey to a lousy earnings year like every other company around the world, one of my more steady freelance clients took the monthly work they outsourced to me back in-house. other freelance work has also slowed to a trickle in recent months. bright side is that i have picked up a couple new clients, though the work they’ve been giving me has been spotty. sadly, this will amount to a thrifty holiday season and a yard still full of dirt.

new feature alert! i think mentioned before how i installed google’s analytics to my blog’s back-end and now have insight into all the crazy search terms that are pulling up milla times. please allow me to share this month’s highlights: milla jojovich nipples; milla jovovich big nipples; milla jovovich eating with both hands; american spirits and cat poop; secretary spread exercises; back brace orgasm; prepuberty personal hygiene; tits hanging out of a hammock. (the last one is my personal favorite.)

Stuff and Things

• the household: i received a rather pricey bill from the County of Los Angeles last month, called a “supplemental tax bill” (since property taxes don’t tax homeowners enough). the bill unsettled me — particularly its amount — so i paid a visit to the tax assessor’s office to get a few questions answered. after standing in three different lines in various offices, talking to countless people who couldn’t help me, a not-on-break employee finally noticed that the bill was not prorated as it should have been but instead was billed at the full amount for the fiscal year, meaning i was being taxed for a time period when the bank who repoed the house owned the house. County assured me it would repair the mistake and i would get a new bill in the mail for just my portion.
  
  a few weeks later, i received the new supplemental tax bill in the mail. the bill was for the same amount as before but now included a refund check that covered the bank’s portion. i called the County and asked what happened? “the refund is to help you pay your bill,” they told me. “why didn’t you just deduct the amount of the refund from the total?” i asked. “because that’s not how we do things.”



• that earthquake: in case you missed it, LA was rattled by a 5.4 a few weeks back. i was at work when it happened, on the 33rd floor of a downtown highrise, talking to a coworker in New York when the trembling started. when i’m faced with frustrating, frightening situations, my impulse is to start swearing like a goddamn cocksucking motherfucker, so that’s what i did — while on the phone with a virtual stranger. “fuck, shit, goddamn motherfucker. it’s an earthquake happening. I NEED TO CALL YOU BACK!!” then i dove under my desk and stayed there until the shaking subsided. first call went to Mo, who’s stationed at home during the day, “how’s the house???” Mo said house was fine, held up well. we hung up a moment later and i realized i forgot to ask him how he and the dogs held up. fuck.



• those Olympics: at first, i was resigned not to watch them because i knew that watching them would mean becoming obsessed with them. now that i’m obsessed, i’ve become slightly depressed over the fact that these young athletes have accomplished more in their short lives than i ever will with the remainder of mine. i used to think that being a rock star was the greatest profession on earth because it meant never having to get up early, but now i’m convinced that being an athlete is the way to go, because even though athletes need to rise early, they get to eat a lot and spend their days popping off endorphins. i’m also convinced that i will marry Michael Phelps.



• the day Juice went missing: i swore far more that day than i did the day of the earthquake. but yes, there was a day the other week when Juice got out and got gone. she was found an hour later a block away with some kind neighbors who took her in, but fucking hell, that hour Mo and i spent scouring the streets looking for her was the shittiest hour of my life. i actually held it together quite well until the moment i saw her again, at which point i started bawling like an asshole, at which point she started licking my face. i spent the rest of the day in such a state, my only relief lying on the floor cuddling with both dogs while my heart tried to reconstitute itself.

Stuff and Things

someone has gotten a case of the busies. i’ll give you one guess who that someone could be. that someone has been doing a lot of shit, some of it bullshit, but all of it is shit that needs to be done. a summary of the shit includes:

• work has been nuts lately. my day job has me juggling three projects in various stages of completion in addition to the day-to-day tasks that need attention. seems like every moment of the day is occupied by my coworkers calling, emailing and messaging me with the same burning question, “Can you look at this? Can you look at this? CAN YOU LOOK AT THIS?” look at this, people. it’s my middle finger. i only have two eyeballs.


• then comes the freelance work. i’m just finishing up a proofread of an 850-page high school health textbook that has occupied my weeknights and weekends for many months now, first with the student edition of the book and then with the teacher edition. i’m happy to have done it, though, as i learned a few things and also opened the door to more projects with this publisher. in fact, they have already offered me a new project proofing a vocational book on carpentry. fancy that, me reading a carpentry manual. that’ll make me super cool, just like Jesus!


• on the home front, my landlord decided to remove the tacky track lighting that rules every room in my house, prompting every last person who enters my home for the first time to ask, “what’s with all the track lighting?” i usually say it was big in the nineties when my gay landlord remodeled the guest house. but seriously, my living room alone has 18 track lights controlled by 6 different dimmer switches. i’m happy to see them go and to also have my ceiling painted, but dang, what a mess it’s created. the dogs are all kinds of nervous with the spike in foot traffic, the smell of paint is suffocating, and i’m tripping over ladders and brushes at every turn. but once it’s done in another day or two, those lights will be as distant a memory as perms and leg warmers. now i just need to buy a lamp.


• social calendar has also been overflowing. beyond the longstanding weekly dinner with the girls, there’s now the weekly hike at runyon with Chad, and dinners with grad school friend Grace and college friend Elisha, both of whom i recently reconnected with. add to this phone calls to New York to keep up with JD, John John, Zahra, Als and Allison. plus, i’ve begun attending open houses with Dee on weekends. (apologies to Zee and Wade whom i’ve yet to schedule a meal with.) so yes, lots of social activities with lots of positive people who are way cooler than i am. and no, still manless.


• because my summer of bronchitis originated in my workplace i’ve had to file workers compensation paperwork. this isn’t quite as big a deal as one would think. i basically need to fill out some forms, provide some receipts and doctors notes, and then my case is recorded as having happened and my claim is considered resolved. it should be no big deal, but the bureaucracy surrounding something like this as documents are misplaced and phone calls go unreturned and files are incomplete and whoops, we got your date of birth wrong. headache.


• speaking of sick, the bronchitis has finally left the building that is my body, but stayed in the building that is my workplace. (ok, lame. sorry.) i’m not coughing much anymore, but i’m still allergic as hell to the construction dust. one day last week i spent about three hours on the toxic floor for assorted meetings and greetings with coworkers, and by the end of the day i felt fairly crummy. it felt as though the water level rose in my body, starting in my lungs with some wheezing and shortness of breath; then it moved through my head with my nose and sinuses clogging up; and by the time i left the floor in the afternoon, my eyes were burning and i could feel a hive developing on my eyelid. i came home and promptly bathed in hydrogen peroxide and have sworn to myself that i will not step foot on that floor again unless i’m wearing an astronaut suit. yeah, just like bubble girl.

poor me, right? i need a break, right? my thoughts exactly, which is why i’m taking this friday off to engage in a bit of retail therapy. my only objective that day will be to sleep late and then hit the mall to spend my hard-earned money. after all, everyone knows that the only way to cure the stress of having bronchitis, visiting with friends and getting my house redone is by buying many pairs of cute shoes.

Other Matters

• been beyond busy at work lately. it's like that promotion actually meant something, increasing my job duties tenfold. it's odd suddenly to have to earn each cent of my paycheck like this. i used to have more sit-on-my-ass downtime where i could internet surf, instant message and draft blog entries, which happened almost exclusively at work before. but now, on a sunday afternoon, when i should be sipping a mimosa over brunch somewheres, i'm finally drafting this long overdue post.



• not to mention the abundance of freelance work that's come my way. i had this one project keeping me occupied the past few weeks -- a proof of Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. i've read the book three times now and it still makes me think of Fred Gwynne playing Herman Munster. except that in the book, the Frankenstein monster is kind of a bastard.



• not that freelance work is a bad thing. in fact i'd welcome more of it. (Dave, you reading this? employ me!) i must save some extra rubles because, next year, i intend to buy a domicile of my very own. yup, you heard it here first. i'm on a mission to become a homeowner. this has been on my mind for a while, and with timing being everything, the softening LA real estate market is looking more hospitable to first-timers like me. plus, i've discovered that by the standards of the city of los angeles in this great state of california, i'm considered low-income, meaning i qualify for all these cool incentives offered by the state and city (that aren't subprime) to help get me into the market.



• but where would i move to? excellent question. of course, affordability is paramount here, and after careful consideration, i've decided that i can only move "east." not east like arizona or the orient, just due east of hollywood. it's a real momentous occasion for me to admit that i've finally grown tired of hollywood. the lack of parking, the congestion, the scensters -- over it! i guess i really am in my thirties now. (plus, i can't afford shit around here.) of course, i could never move to the westside because that's where my parents live, and north means the dreadful SF valley, which feels podunk to me since i grew up there; and south is far too close to orange county, so by default i must move my landlocked self to the eastside, to a deluxe apartment in the sky! of course, this is all very TBD. i'm still about a year away from move day.



• my pops turned 60 last month! he's a young and strapping buck, i know. 60 is the new 50, and he still has all his hair. we went to a laker game at staples on his actual birthday. it was the last home game of the season, the game the lakers needed to win (against the sonics) to qualify for the playoffs. luckily, they won, and kobe scored 50 points that night. we had kick-ass seats, and kareem, who was also celebrating his 60th birthday, was in the crowd, prompting all of staples to stand and sing him happy birthday. i told my dad to imagine it was all for him, and i think he did, maybe just for a second.

My First Meme

and likely my last. i’m a sucker for peer pressure and seeing that i have no new news to report and that other members of my Bloglomerate^TM have completed this meme on their blogs, i figured i’d be a sport and play along. so here goes the posting of Five Things You Might Not Know About Me. (note to Wade: tag.)

1. in high school, my house was make-out headquarters for my group of friends. my parents regularly spent long weekends in Las Vegas tending to the rental property they owned there, leaving me alone to tend to myself. sometimes, just hours after their departure, friends and wine coolers would fill the house for such exciting games as Truth or Dare and Seven Minutes in Heaven, which sometimes led to private make-out sessions in my older sister’s vacated bedroom, which sometimes led to lost virginities, rumors at school the following week and home pregnancy tests the following month.
   
   it was great, yet risky fun. one sunday, my parents returned home early to find the garden hose going full blast in the jacuzzi, which had nearly emptied the night before when six of my friends jumped in for a skinny dip. i felt my nerves race when they appeared suddenly at the door, my hand tightly fisted to conceal the cigarette butts and condom wrapper i had gathered from the floor a moment earlier. yet with a few excuses, i managed to escape discovery, ensuring that my house remained an epicenter of hot teenage sex, including my own when i was 17 -- with my older boyfriend, in the jacuzzi, done in two minutes. note to self for next life: avoid sex in water, especially for your first time. it doesn’t provide added lubrication like you think.



2. sadly, i’ve never been a big dreamer when i sleep. i’m sure i dream and just don’t remember, but even when i do remember my dreams they’re mostly lame nightmares where i’m being chased by a bear through a forest. but most nights, i get nothing. just a dark, uneventful stretch of time where my fantasy life should be. weak.



3. at 20, i found myself hanging out with all these theater types in california’s Inland Empire, where i lived for one very hot summer. that was the summer i also began smoking cigarettes since, you know, theater kids smoke to look cool and i’m bad with the peer pressure. so one thing led to another, and before i knew it, i was starring in a play at the local theater -- Christopher Durang’s Baby With the Bathwater.
   
   since it was a no-budget local theater troupe kind of performance, i played three different characters (all supporting roles), as did my fellow “actors.” the play’s opening scene had me singing “hush little baby” a capella. it was my first and last time performing on a stage in front of strangers, and i was very awful -- as a singer and an actress. i was all shaky voice and bad affectation, flubbing lines and missing cues. it was your basic bad local theater performance and while i’m grateful for the experience, etc., etc., i’d never do it again.



4. i don’t eat chocolate. it makes my skin break out in all its adolescent glory so i avoid it. people sometimes get weird when they hear this, like it’s some crime to not enjoy chocolate. the truth is that i like chocolate, but i don’t love it, and i certainly don’t like it enough to endure a face full of pimples. call me crazy. and call me a liar because there is one brand of chocolate i will eat because it’s of such remarkable quality that it doesn’t cause breakouts. it’s a Belgian brand called Neuhaus that i sampled while on my european adventure a few summers back. thankfully, its availability is limited in the U.S., otherwise i might be eating these fattening, expensive, decadent and truly extraordinary chocolates too often. but yeah, in between bites of Neuhaus, i don’t eat chocolate.



5. in grade school i bullied a girl who rode my bus. she was a few years younger, and her older sister, who was in my grade, initiated the wild bullying sessions each afternoon on the ride home, calling younger sister “porky” repeatedly. this seemed an odd fit since “porky” wasn’t exactly a porker; she was of average build. still, older sister went ahead with the “porky” commentary and i joined in because, as noted above, i’m a sucker for peer pressure.
   
   eventually, older sister transferred to a new school, leaving “porky” and me riding the bus together. at that point, terrorizing “porky” had become habit so i continued with it. i think it killed her self-esteem. her mother even appeared at the bus stop one day to chastise me, but i still didn’t stop. i kept going with the name-calling until “porky” transferred to a new school, presumably because of my ridicule though i can never be sure.
   
   the following year, i got a bully of my own. we were seated near each other in homeroom, meaning that each new day of the 8th grade began with her torturing me. she was scrawny, and in retrospect i could have kicked her ass, but she was popular and blessed with magnificent skin. i, however, had some intense adolescent acne going on so logically she called me “pizza face.” i hated her and began doing her math homework each morning to minimize the ridicule.

Stuff and Things

• since the big car purchase, my life has been consumed by this strange new concept called “budgeting.” i guess i didn’t know how good i had it pre-monthly car payment. plus, my car insurance has more than doubled from what i paid for the crapmobile. i fancy my fabulousity so it’s difficult for me to accept that i must downsize my bourgeois lifestyle. but having reliable wheels is a bigger must in los angeles so i’m more than happy to eat my car’s interior if times get really desperate. it’s leather and i eat beef, so it must be ok.

• work is slow lately. it’s standard cycle-of-business stuff that affects everyone, not just me. freelance work is also minimal. when things get this slow i’m prone to engaging in a bit of online shopping, but i can’t. see above.

• the toe has been healing beautifully (thank you for your prayers). though it’s not healing quickly enough, as i still cannot wear closed-toe shoes. the one time i attempted it, earlier this week, caused an intense discomfort that turned into throbbing pain by midday. this means no sneakers and, conversely, no gym, and no heels at work. i’m pretty much wearing the same pair of sandals night and day. they could use a good disinfecting.

• Mo turned 30 this month (and whined far less about it than i did). i was having such a great time at his birthday party that i forgot to take photos of it for posting. but rest assured it produced an admirable turnout of beautiful people who enjoyed themselves immensely and didn’t trash my house too horribly.

• halloween. bah-humbug. i’ve never really been one to stuff myself into uncomfortable costumes and put on rash-inducing makeup, even as a candy-craving kid. and now as an adult living in west hollywood, i scoff at the gaggle of cars and drag queens that congest my neighborhood each year for the parade.

• living room beautification is now complete. old furniture sold quickly on craigslist and was replaced by more comfortable seating and a larger coffee table; the walls were painted a fabulous Cabbage Green and then adorned with new art and shelving; i even updated my vacuum with a far superior one made especially for pet hair. it looks great.

Zsa Zsa

the fall didn’t creep in this year as it usually does in los angeles. it seemed to just land in the center of the city and chill everything nearby. its reach (finally) extended to my abode, where i had been summoning it with an autumn jig while looking lovingly at my jackets. in a snap, the temperature turned, and the heavy blanket for the bed emerged. the top sheet alone would no longer do.

this is the best season, methinks. winter is also a good one, and with fall as its precursor, the upcoming half-year is tops. granted, “seasonal weather” in los angeles is pretty wannabe. the leaves don’t change colors too dramatically, rain is minimal, snow is impossible, and dips into the 40s are infrequent. still, it’s a nice reminder of time’s passage.

my passage of time has lately been centered around home improvements, with my living room undergoing the greatest facelift. newer, better, more beautiful furniture is on its way -- once i buy some -- and the walls will enjoy a little blush on their cheeks, which are currently painted a blinding shade of Hospital White (plus scuff marks). beyond that, i’m reorganizing my closet and compiling a wish list of other repairs to be made, items to be bought. it’s getting lengthy.

there’s also been an outbreak of Relationship Weight Gain in my household. the indiscriminate eating has got to stop, as mexican dinners at midnight do not a svelte figure make. even the dog has gotten tubby. it’s nice to nest, but even the coldest L.A. winter cannot justify this amount of padding. Mo is developing a case of Ethiopian Belly (skinny guy with a protruding belly), Juice looks like a hairy pork chop, and i’m outgrowing my clothes. to repair ourselves, we’ve increased the activity as the calorie intake has decreased (kinda). we walk now, all three of us, wherever we can walk to. oh, the excitement.

odd news: Zsa Zsa Gabor called me -- and bitch didn’t leave a message. the blinking light on my answering machine only recorded a hangup after the tone. when i scrolled the caller ID on my phone, it was her name and a 310 number, i shit you not.

otherwise, i managed to check out the Banksy show the other weekend -- phenomenal. i also managed to almost murder my new Betta fish, Butch, by leaving him in L.A.’s finest tap water for about five minutes while i cleaned his bowl. it was a procedural snafu, entirely my fault, and i thought nothing of it until he started acting sick and sluggish a few weeks later. i hauled ass to Petco and consulted a fish specialist who told me my error was tantamount to leaving a newborn baby in a room saturated with secondhand smoke for five minutes. she looked about ready to call the authorities to place Butch in foster care, maybe at her house, but instead she handed me a liquid blend of antibiotics with tea tree oil, complete with disapproving glare.

five days later Butch seems better. but i still feel a touch guilty, with this sick fish and overweight dog. i’ve vowed to improve my pet parenting skills and will definitely name my next fish Zsa Zsa.

The Sun Is Shining

so much so that i got quite the sunburn during my yard sale last weekend. why didn't i use sunscreen? because i don't own any. that's a mystery to even me. it's not like it's hard to find and purchase. but it never entered my radar to get a bottle, even though i had been planning this yard sale for weeks and even checked the weather to ensure it would be a clear day on saturday.

keep in mind that i'm a russian jew, meaning i only come in one shade: pale. so a little sun on my siberian skin turns me into toast pretty fast. for comfort, i've been buttering my crispy self with raw aloe cut from the plant just outside my door. that soothes so nice, but stinks like shit. was it worth it? hells no! i made a paltry 27 bucks at the yard sale and no one even bought the most expensive items that were on display -- the old bookshelves i had in my room. at day's end, they were donated right back to the same thrift store i bought them from two years ago.

another bummer is that my dry cleaners burned down. they had a great two-for-one special and could turn around your order in a day. how sad it was to pull up to the storefront and find a cardboard sign that read "Closed do to fire" in the window. after wincing at the spelling error, i peeked in and saw the charred floor and machinery. i couldn't believe it. how does a dry-cleaners burn down when it's situated two blocks from the west hollywood fire station and in the same strip mall as the always open and popular 7/11 on santa monica boulevard?

seemed fishy to me. this is the part where i should report that my journalistic instincts kicked in, causing me to embark on a watergate-esque investigation into how my favorite cleaners caught fire given its seemingly fireproof location. naturally, i would have concluded that the owners were arsonists who did it for the insurance money because they are russian and them russians are a corrupt bunch. phew, glad i didn't have to bother with a thorough journalistic investigation to get to my sound conclusion. it's nice to always have the answers to everything ahead of time.

at least that's what i thought as i drove away. then a few troubling realities started entering the picture: the flammability of cleaning supplies, the fact that i was russian and not a corrupt arsonist. i slapped my own hand in self-disgust, then surveyed the area for another cleaners.

i love proving myself wrong. it's almost as good as having other people do it for me, though it's way better because it really helps me trust myself to always make the right decision.

the good news is that i got another clear pap, which makes two in a row since my little cervical cancer scare late last summer. my crappy little car also passed its smog test, which means registration for yet another year. and i'm freelancing up a storm, which means more money to waste and less time for getting into trouble. and the shining sun is doing wonders for the bougainvillea all around los angeles.

otherwise, i could use more sleep and less responsibility, and more aloe for my burn.

The Grass Is Greener

lots of rain will do that to a lawn. los angeles has endured a steady stream of mother nature's piss this past month, with the grass seed and compost in my backyard sucking up the rain, the runoff and then some to become an overgrown mess -- a veritable green afro of grass.

i don't mind because i love love love the rain. it gives the semblance of a season in this too temperate town known for perfect sunshine and year-round tans. it cleans the smoggy air and washes my car. and it provides the perfect backdrop for an evening of warm socks, a hot cup of mint tea and a rented DVD that i watch while juice sleeps beside me, her snoring head burrowed in my lap.

unfortunately, that scene has been difficult to reproduce since daytimes find me sitting in the titanium tower downtown while gazing out the window and wishing i were at home. then comes the evening commute, slippery and slow when wet. at least the view the next day is breathtaking.

april came out of nowhere, didn't it? this year seems to be zooming by, and i'm reluctant to catch up to it. what a cognitive leap to accept that the year is almost half over and i haven't done shit. again, i'm not sure what i expected to have done by now, but i'm sure i haven't done it. blame the rain.

my betta fish died and that saddened me. i never thought i gave a shit about that fucker until he went belly up (har har). but every morning, i would sleepwalk into my kitchen and sprinkle a few flakes into his bowl, tapping on the glass to beckon him to breakfast. "what are you going to do today, Fifi?" i would mock while preparing my coffee. "let me guess -- nothing!" i would cackle when he didn't answer me. he'd just swim away in silence and poop in his bowl.

my mom gave me Fifi two years ago and i almost flushed him down the toilet then, convinced as i was that fish weren't real pets. they were more like dinner -- salmon and halibut and orange roughy. juice was all the pet i really needed. then he died (of natural causes) and i realized how much i missed abusing him. it had become part of my morning ritual. so off to Petco i went and got myself a new betta for $3.95. in keeping with the west hollywood fetish theme, i named this one Butch. he's fiery red with blue speckles on his tail.

i also got a new bed. a queen on a queen finally! having slept on it for over two weeks already, i cannot believe i ever slept on that crappy full mattress i had before. flipside is that it's making getting out of bed each morning even more difficult. blame the rain. so that's a new and bigger bed and mattress -- and new pillows and sheets and comforter and duvet cover. i'm broke but sleeping like a rockefeller. a fresh coat of paint on the bedroom walls will soon follow, as will a new dresser and bookcase.

i can't believe how bourgie i've gotten. i went from being a goth in high school, when i wore doc martins and crushed velvet clothing to Cure concerts; then came college with its hippie-esque foray into corduroy and hallucinogenics; post-college style found me rummaging through san francisco's myriad thrift stores; and the move back to LA had me decked out in Hollywood hipster gear.

i'm quite concerned about the fashion sense i'll exhibit during my thirties. i find myself gravitating toward collared blouses and pants with pleats. i don't think i own a single concert T-shirt anymore. i also don't recall ever using the word "blouse" before starting my corporate job -- it had always been just a "shirt."

my new evening look has become "the sexy executive" where i throw one of my business jackets over a slutty top. but perhaps i should lay off the slutty tops? i don't want to be the past-her-prime girl out at the clubs looking ridiculous while trying to seem young. i'm thinking a more sophisticated look is in order. something more fitting with my new demographic. i suppose i should embrace it and become the bourgeois princess i likely have always been. but if i move to the suburbs or begin voting republican, please shoot me.

Sorta Happenings

not all that much to put up here. not all that much going on lately. just putzing around with my usual stockpile of stimuli: the job, the pad, the dog, the Mo, the friends. no notable headlines with any.

in general, my january was a wash and i figured that my 2006 would officially begin in february. now two weeks in, my 2006 will likely begin in march. hell, i'll just wait until i get my tax return before officially kicking off my new year. i'm not sure what i intended to have accomplished by this point, but i'm sure i haven't done it.

the mundanity of work seems to have taken over and i now find myself busy during the workday, and again during the weeknight when i do my freelance editing. strangely, this hasn't improved my financial situation, which is all out of sorts. can't get on top of my bills, and can barely pull myself out of bed in the mornings. yep, feels like a typical february -- with the jolliness of the holiday season finally worn off, leaving a lackluster year ahead and a huge credit card bill borne of too many gift purchases.

best news is that the jasmine bush outside my front door has started to bloom, providing a pleasant little day-brightener. sad news of the week is that my boyfriend Mo is out of town until the weekend, brightside being that i can visit my other boyfriend Gym. other idle time has been spent watching the first season of "Sex and the City," which just sucks when compared with all the seasons that followed it. (the girls look so middle class!)

otherwise, my social calendar has been a bit slim. i'm still partaking in my weekly dinner with girlfriends Ann and Raidis (our own little "Sex and the City"); i also attended a polite dinner party hosted by Juan and Wendy. no shows lately, though the sight of juice terrorizing my neighbor's cat repeatedly has assumed a theatrical quality. i just can't seem to keep those lovebirds apart. i'm thinking of microwaving some popcorn and just sitting on my porch, breathing the jasmine air and watching them do their flirtatious tango. interspecies animal love is divine, and in lieu of other attractions, it will have to do.

(yeah, i know this entry sucks.)

Mundane in the Membrane

nothing like indulging in a little housecleaning on a saturday night to remind you that you're young and alive. i'd like to claim that this was all intentional, that i had refused an invitation to have dinner with the queen of england to instead stay in and scrub my tub, but that's not the case. nothing was happening for me tonight. i guess i could have found something if i really wanted to but my tub needed the scrub. and i got on my knees, clorox residue across my dark shirt, sweat on my brow, kanye blasting in the background. i got to work. i also took a broom to all the spiderwebs in the corners, of which there were too many. i often wake with new spider bites on my body and even see those damn daddy long-legged bastards cruising the bathroom walls when i'm in the shower, taunting me. then there was the dust, the dog hair, the dishes -- all spict and spanned. i was quite the domestic goddess.

it's been all sorts of mundane lately. still, i'm not as well rested as i'd like to be, as i could be. i've been freelance editing up a storm, which (in my mind) justifies all the superfluous clothes shopping i've been indulging in. there have also been plenty of visits with my trusty old boyfriend gym, which justifies all the superfluous eating i've been indulging in. there have also been social indulgences, including a pretentious publishing party in hollywood, a trip to the greek theatre to see Tori Amos (awesome), and a trip to the egyptian theatre to see Sidestepper (also awesome). plus the season premiere of my favorite show, "america's next top model." for not being a lesbian, i will say that tyra is smokin' hot. she's got a great weave. but the show really becomes its finest after the girls winnow down and become catty bitches to each other. i know, it takes very little to amuse me.

otherwise, work is work. life is life. and i'm not minding the mundane too much. sure, i could use a vacation and i'd like to find that bag of money, but i'll make do with my clean house and lackluster saturday night. the colder weather is nice. LA had its first big rain of the season last week, which meant that my car finally took a bath and i had a nice, clear view from the 49th floor the day after. soup season is finally here -- way better than summer salad season.

i reckon that fall will hold lots more mundanity for me, but that's just fine. all the entropy did not go to waste. it's made me appreciate the calm. my mental/emotional states are just fine as well. i feel so earthbound lately. and as boring as it all may sound, it's ok. (for now.)

Summer 2005 Roundup

with the labor day holiday marking the unofficial end of summer, i felt compelled to offer a recap of what's sure to go down as one of the most impactful summers i've ever had. last summer was largely characterized by inactivity; i was quite high after finishing grad school and spent my days in freelancer purgatory. my greatest objective then was to rest, so i rested. and i was very good at it.

in contrast, the summer before that was quite the ass-kicker. i began it with a six-week radio internship in London and then hopped on the eurail for a 15-city european tour that lasted three weeks. quite simply, that was awesome -- i'm sure there's a more creative way to convey that, but "awesome" will have to work. that summer was also meaningful in that it spawned this here bloggy, whose original purpose was to fulfill a class requirement. that summer was time and money well spent and i would repeat it in a heartbeat.

this summer was also full of activity, though i doubt i'd repeat it. first off, i generally hate LA summers because they are way too fucking hot. my pasty genes prefer moonshine to sunbeams, and my wardrobe sense loves to accessorize outfits with hats, scarves and cool jackets. this is why fall is my favorite season. there are only so many ways one can dress up a tank top. i will confess, however, that this summer hasn't been too extreme in terms of heat.

this summer's extremes have been more emotionally based. one could assume that mixing euphoric highs with ungodly lows would have a canceling effect, returning the feeler to a happy baseline. but i don't think i had a single neutral moment. elation has been followed by despondency followed by joy followed by melancholy. clarity and confusion have comingled. it's been downright bipolar.

it started out terrific enough with a trip to new york over memorial day weekend, the unofficial start of summer. it was great to see my east coast peeps, but that trip was hardly a vacation and it also had some tense moments. then came my birthday and subsequent party at the end of june -- probably the summer's apex when i felt most rock star.

then love came to town, causing a head-on collision with my car. a hit and run that left me with whiplash. i'm still quite concussed (and embroiled). death came, too, and left its imprint in a way i had never before known. the sting of angela's suicide still grips me daily. it's made me reexamine old paradigms; i've had to throw out the useless ones. they haven't been replaced, nor shall they be. not everything passes, i've come to realize. i'll stay lost in the nuance for quite some time.

the day of angela's funeral i was on my cell phone with my doctor. between the burial and memorial, i sat on the curb in front of a stranger's house in some neighborhood up in the hills where i was getting faulty reception and no shade. the sun was baking me in my black garb. it had been a week since the biopsy; the results would be in. "doctor, i hope you have good news for me because i've spent my friday at a funeral," i said to her.

"it's not cancer," she said.

oh, those three little words -- far better than "i love you" or "you're a winner" or "you lost weight!" it's. not. cancer. i exhale. i'm trembling. my cervix had been under suspicion after a preliminary test found abnormal cells. but it's not cancer, but it could be eventually. i'll need to monitor it. still, my heart leaps, then descends again as i walk into the memorial to find photographs of my dead friend. these extremes, sometimes within the same hour. moments that make you want to escape your own skin.

that same night, i join my family to celebrate my parents' 36th anniversary with a dinner cruise through marina del rey. i try to enjoy the evening, spending most of it engrossed by my 4-year-old nephew, who brushes my cheek gently when he wants my attention. between courses i head to the ship's deck for a moment to myself. fittingly, a full moon hangs overhead. i feel it mocking me after such a day. it rises big and yellow over the horizon like the eye of g-d. i can't help but stare. i find an empty deck chair and allow the breeze to lap at me as i sit there, like a piece of wood. my nephew appears beside me and climbs into my lap, collapsing his body against my chest. i wrap my arms around him and kiss the top of his head. the ship keeps trudging through the marina as we sit quietly, the gentle waves breaking underneath us. it was the day's perfect moment.

*****

yes, this summer is going down in the record books. love, death, disease, and a sprinkling of tarot and mysticism. my heart softening and hardening. brevity, gravity, entropy. my will strengthening and breaking. it's been too much at times and i don't have the hindsight i need to sum up the lessons i've learned. not yet anyway.

nowadays, however, i'm just peachy. my long labor day weekend was largely spent hibernating. i slept in and managed to catch lunch and a massage with my mom on saturday. i finished up a couple books and became better acquainted with my nifty new computer. i settled on a 14-inch G4 iBook, whose specs were almost identical to that of apple's overpriced Powerbooks. i wish my ivory iBook had the sexy aluminum casing, yes, but it has a gig of ram and it's way fast.

i, however, am going to be way slow. my objective for the remainder of the year is to reduce stress. i've already bought some cute scarves for fall and i have the most terrific mustard jacket i bought while i was in new york. i've been aching to wear it. i've quit smoking and have begun taking a (cancer-fighting) B vitamin complex daily. i have a stack of books i plan to read, CDs i plan to hear and recipes i want to try. i'm going to plan a few trips out of town and hit the gym more. i never thought i'd look so forward to the mundane, but stabilizing will serve me well right now. and serving myself is about all i want to do.

Random Photo Essay

figured it was time to put some purty pictures up here. no unifying theme, just random shots taken over the past few months.


the hairy eyeball: of course no photo essay would be complete without a shot of the juice, seen here with her boyfriend max.


camera ready: k8 the gr8, whom i hear is moving to los angeles from portland, prepares to snap one.


posers: k8 and i worked together once upon a time in san francisco. we got hired at the exact same time and our new coworkers had trouble telling us apart. five years and two cities later, we're still twins.


the real electra: my daddy's the love of my life.


sibling rivalry: my older sister tatyana, left, vies for my spot as daddy's little girl. (she doesn't stand a chance.)


family matters: my fabulous cousins, roman and gitella, recently abandoned their day jobs to move to portland.


annenbergirlies: some hot chicks i went to school with. from right to left: moran, zahra, malavika, grace and yours truly.


our new commentator: dee, whom i've known since 1997, is inexhaustible, analytical, parenthetical and damn hot.


umm...drunk...yeah: zee and i with the most bizarre hats at some random party. blame it on the vodka.

Living for the Weekend

it's sunday night and i'm already so ready for next weekend. and not because anything spectacular is happening next weekend. i guess it's just them pesky sunday blues. it's them 40 hour work weeks. it's that alarm at 6:30am, with those first 10 minutes of morning spent rubbing my eyes in disbelief. i know, cry me a friggin river. i get no pity. and i know i don't deserve any. and i do like my job -- especially my coworkers, and particularly the ones who are reading this. (are any of you reading this? have you found this blog? no one's said anything to me yet.)

and i really like getting a paycheck, even though i've been throwing down dollars like they're hot potatoes. i think that it'll pass. i hope it'll pass because i'm spending more than i'm making and sometimes on useless crap. it was one thing when i bought a new vacuum to replace my rickety old one, but i also bought a wireless mouse when my old corded one worked just fine. and then there were the Coach sunglasses (they were on sale) and the Gucci frames for my new pair of eyeglasses (also on sale). there was that new shoe organizer and chic bag to hold my yoga mat (not on sale, but both were from target). clothes, too, and a subscription to newsweek. gym membership, organic produce, nice gifts for my parents' birthdays. i've graduated from the 'two-buck chuck' type of wine found at trader joe's to the pricier pickings. i even bought some smoked salmon and now order the seafood when i go out to eat at a nice restaurant, which is often now. it's big pimpin', spending G's.

it's been so wacky i've decided to hold off on my biggest bling purchase -- the new car. that will have to wait until next year, provided my jalopy can keep sputtering on. instead, i'm eyeing a new living room set. i hear that microfiber is semi pet-proof. i'm also eyeing that lady smith gun i've wanted for some time. ooh, and a G5 iMac. and there's more. i have a list somewhere.

when i haven't been living large, i've been laying low and relaxing. weekends are spent catching up on shut-eye and making love to my computer, and i don't mean through all the porn i have on it. i've recently procured some new music and applications (and fully legally -- i respect all copywright laws everywhere... umm... yeah) and have been fiddling around with my new dreamweaver mx for mac, which i hope to one day use for updating the rest of this crap website. i've also been trying to accomplish the three mandates currently up on my dry erase board: Relax, Breathe, Sleep.

there's been rented movies, including 'finding neverland,' which made me cry, and 'meet the fockers,' which made me laugh. and a documentary called 'the corporation,' which made me feel guilty. there was a barbecue at dave's (aka head dork) house and a sleep-over at yogaman's apartment, which left me itchy from his cats. there's been boredom, reflection, amusement and sometimes serenity. and there have been better days. and certainly worse.

Stuff and Things

i've been hibernating mostly since the year began. trying to step back and take inventory of things; trying to form a vision of what i want my 2005 to look like. still a little murky. plus, i went on a mini-cleanse where i didn't eat meat or drink alcohol for the first two weeks of january, so i wasn't as much fun to be around. but now that i'm back to being a carnivorous alcoholic, i'm ready to paint the town.

there was other stuff going on. i hit a few gnarly speedbumps that doused all the cocksure confidence i had going into this year. i didn't get a job i really wanted. and i had another setback that i won't go into here. there was some anguish. but i bounce back, and the year is still young. otherwise, i've still been working from home mucho, had some 12-hour workdays that felt oddly fantastic. there's still that isolation weirdness going on when i'm home working, where i don't talk to anyone but the dog. some days i decide to just not shower or change out of my jammies.

but stranger than that is the auditory show one of my neighbors has been unknowingly putting on for me. i think it's a couple, though i'm not sure of their genders. one is definitely a guy, and i think he might be a drug dealer or a junkie or maybe a rock star, because he seems to be home all day making noise. they argue non-stop, crescendo-ing in "get the fuck away from me!!" sometimes it's over housework, a la "look what a dirty fucking mess you made!!!" then there's the wretching, which is what makes me suspect he's a junkie. he seems to be vomiting all day -- guts-twisted-stomach-turned-inside-out type vomiting. i get queasy just hearing it. and when there's no arguing or vomiting, there's definitely masturbating. and he takes FOREVER to climax (also a junkie quality, no?). so while i'm sitting there trying to edit children's textbooks like the good nun i am, i get a delightful blend of hurling, horny and swear-landen sounds to fill up my home office (aka living room).

but on to the good news in brief:

• i saw the wonderful lhasa in concert at the conga room. she's a world artist who plays the most hauntingly beautiful gypsy music. she had me hypnotized all night, voodoo style. she looked damn sexy, too.


• i also saw the wonderful k8 the gr8, who was visiting from portland for the weekend. i hadn't seen the girl since we worked together in san francisco almost five years ago. twas quite pleasant.


• i finally received my FREE iPod in the mail this week. free, as in a $300 new 20 gig iPod for FREE. well, i guess it cost about 6 bucks shipping and handling for some beauty product i ordered but never used. "thanks" to the five people who signed up on my behalf, and "up yours" to the naysayers who said it would never happen. you can have one too. this offer is totally legit, but you gotta play by their rules: www.freeipods.com.


• the jasmine bush outside my front door is starting to bloom. it's gotten me all kinds of giddy, retarded style. jasmine is one of my most favorite smells, right up there with home cooking and sweet pheromones borne of intense chemistry. those smells flood the pleasure center of my brain, making me so dizzy i need to sit down. so whenever i walk outside lately, i just stop and inhale for a few seconds. LA air has never smelled better. downside is the bush blooms only once a year, but it should last for a few months. let me know if you want to come sit on my porch and breathe with me.

Happy Hollow Days

actually, they haven't been too hollow. things have been just peachy lately -- and like a sweet, messy peach with no pit. peaches whose juices run down your chin when you bite into them. happy, blushing peaches covered in fuzz. downside is peaches are out of season right now, so my recent cravings for one will go unanswered.

anyhow, the good news is that i picked up some temp work that will last me through the end of the year and possibly into january, courtesy of my mistress Zee. so big thanks to Zee. i've spent the past week editing textbooks for high-schoolers and have occassionally written content. it's not bad at all -- like one very complicated jigsaw puzzle. i'm moving stuff around on the pages, checking everything against everything else, focusing on the minutiae.

and the best part is that i can relax a little about finances. so i've relaxed, perhaps too much. i've spent the past week dropping dimes on everything i've been meaning to buy but couldn't afford. i've also spent it seeing various friends who've popped into town for the hollow days. it's been pleasant, but hectic. i'm suddenly very, very busy. yesterday held breakfast with (college friend) greg in west hollywood, lunch with (high school) best friend jon-david in valencia, and dinner and drinks with (high school) friends raidis and ann in silverlake. it's been nonstop driving all around. today, i'm resting and will continue to rest until tuesday, which is when work resumes.

other than that, single life is good, good, good. it hasn't been hard to get used to. i cleaned my house from wall to wall, floor to ceiling -- washed that man right out of my hair and home. it was like a ritualistic cleansing, and i was a zen zombie. i've often thought of writing a book called 'the zen of housecleaning.' i really dig being in a clean environment and the satisfaction that comes from knowing i made it clean. call me crazy. (but don't call me to come clean your house, cus that ain't gonna happen.) so with my place all nice and tidy, i've been curling up on the couch nightly, juice across my lap, warm socks on my feet, and watching DVDs on my new 27-inch Panasonic television. oh yeah, that's another great thing that happened -- i found a 27-inch TV on craigslist, called the seller who happened to live nearby. she said someone was coming to look at the TV at noon; it was 11am, so i darted over there, jewed her down to 50 bucks, and hauled the TV out just as the other buyer pulled up to the curb, giving me the dirtiest of looks. but the best part is that i sold my old TV on craiglist -- a Sharp 20-incher that's gotta be 15 years old -- for 60 bucks to some LA transplant who didn't seem to know any better. so yeah, new TV for the new clean living room and the new single life.

i also bought new JBL computer speakers for half price on amazon, and i have a new part-time gig as an SAT tutor. so yes, new stuff all around for the impending new year. and speaking of the new year, i think i'm gonna try something new for that special evening. seems like many of my homies will be out of town when 2005 arrives, and instead of going to some packed club or finding some random party, i think i might just stay at home and smooch juice at midnight. it might sound loser, but it really appeals to me.

Reality Bites

my reality certainly does -- still no steady income, anxiety all around, whine, whine, whine. i'm tired of telling my own story, or even listening to myself tell it. i feel like a one-trick pony. people's eyes glaze over when i begin the woe-is-me-i'm-unemployed show. they've heard it before. even the politest ones now grit their teeth and endure. i'm trying to suck it up. i've even come to see this time off as being valuable. only problem is that this time has little value without the funds to enjoy it. if i had some cash to shop all day, get massages and pedicures, that would be something of great value, but i don't. and there i go whining again.

good news is that i found a part-time gig with a company i hope to establish a long and wonderful relationship with. so next week holds some (paid!) training for becoming one of their SAT tutors. i actually had to take the exam, and it's changed over the years. new essay writing section, no analogies, but still way easier than the GRE. should be a fun gig. i've tutored before and have always enjoyed it. nothing beats that instant gratification one gets from teaching someone something. that lightbulb goes on over their heads and it feels like a homerun. but i digress.

i actually wanted to discuss a different aspect of reality, a new addiction of mine that's somewhat disturbing. i've become fixated on reality television lately. it all started when i got bunny ears for my TV set a few months back. before that, my TV was only used for movie rentals. (cable television is not an option, and hasn't been for years.) so now i had channels 2-13 to watch in all their crappy glory. the mainstays of my television watching were 'jeopardy' and 'seinfeld' in syndication. current sitcoms and hourlong dramas didn't really do it for me. i sampled various ones and just never connected with anything, mostly because the writing sucked and i just didn't buy into the relationships these characters had with each other. moreover, i just couldn't relate to these people. too many of today's sitcoms are centered around 'quirky' families, and there's nothing particularly novel or quirky about the approach used to portray these families. it's no 'roseanne' or even 'cosby show.' friend-centered comedies like 'seinfeld' and even 'friends' (which i never found funny) work best for childless, social people of a certain age. ok, my age, my generation. how about making a 'cheers' for twentysomethings?

so in my quest for entertainment, i turn to the reality show, which are plentiful on the boob. and wow, how easy are those to connect with -- regular folks, real-life drama, less predictability, the whole spectrum of human emotions on display. and the best part is that reality shows are like bite-sized pieces of entertainment where old storylines and character arcs don't amount to shit. you can tune in in the middle and not be confused. following the season isn't necessary, though yes, it can help. the only season i've really been following closely is 'america's top model,' for which justin has called me a lesbian. the makeover shows -- i can't get enough!! 'extreme makeover' i just love. and i dig the wife-swapping shows as well -- 'wife swap' and 'trading spouses.' the nanny shows aren't bad either. 'fear factor' i stay away from since it can turn my stomach a bit and i generally avoid those 'survivor'/'apprentice' type shows where contestants are eliminated each week, because of that whole needing-to-follow-the-season thing. but otherwise, i'm up for anything reality and i'm not ashamed to admit it -- though perhaps i should be?

in any case, i can safely and proudly say that despite my interest in reality shows, i've never once been tempted to join the cast of one (though the free lasik eye surgery and porcelian veneers they give people on 'extreme makeover' are very appealing). but nope, you still won't find me trying out, because despite the potential perks, it's still embarassing to be showcasing your sad and/or nasty self or misbehaved kids on national television. it's akin to being on 'the jerry springer show.' but when you're desperate for your 15 minutes of fame, i guess any which way will do. but hey, as long as it's entertaining, i'm not complaining.

When a Door Closes, a Window Opens

that's the new line up on my dry-erase board. my mom used to tell me that when things weren't going well. i think its origin is actually biblical, something like "when G-d closes a door, He opens a window." i'm looking for that open window at every turn, but it's as though i'm in a windowless basement with locked doors, or at the top of the empire state building with one open window and no ladder down. this is because the work situation sucks right now. i've made a whopping zero dollars during the month of november and my output has been considerably higher. there were a few jobs i was certain would be offered to me, but no cigar. i've sent out about 30 resumes in the past week and have zero interviews lined up. my temp agency is dry -- "usually no work comes in during the holiday season," so that's a dead end. all my other clients have also told me to expect no new work until next year.

so here i am again in the broke boat, sad that i can't buy gifts for anyone this holiday season. although i've enjoyed the noncommital temp stuff since graduating in may, i see that it's just not workable anymore. i hate the oh-no-rent-is-due anxiety that comes at the end of each month. i'm tired of the feast or famine freelance lifestyle, and i'm very done with living like a student. with that in mind, i've begun applying to full-time permanent stuff. adulthood sucks, but i guess i should join its ranks. i hear it has its benefits, too, like health insurance and 401(k) plans. if anyone knows of any open windows in any company doing any thing, e-mail me.

in the meantime, to earn extra cash i've sold some CDs to amoeba, clothes to crossroads and even considered selling a never-before-used ovum to a barren couple. they pay big bucks for that shit, especially if you have an advanced degree and are healthy. but, sadly, the age cutoff was 27, and here i am at 28. just my luck.

in other news, did anyone see ken jennings lose in 'jeopardy' the other night? it's the end of an era. i loved that guy. he was the shizzle patizzle, walking away with $2.5 million after a 74-day winning streak. he seemed like the nicest guy on earth, too.

my thanksgiving was nice. our plans got rearranged at the last minute, so it turned into a very low-tech night with just mom and pop and a small rotisserie chicken bought at the supermarket just hours earlier. we got tipsy off of wine and found ourselves making treacly toasts that ended in happy tears. i felt the love of the season, and told them that they are always number one on my list of things i'm thankful for.

it's cold in LA in case you angelinos haven't noticed. like really cold, near freezing temperatures. i'm hoping for snow, which i haven't seen in ten years. if i'm lucky, they'll be snow on the ground in antelope valley in a few weeks, which is where my best friend will be once he flies in from new york come december 20. it's been in the teens in antelope valley.

and lastly, ConfidentCopy.com is still a go and will hopefully be operative (and lucrative) in a few months time. still ironing out the details of the logo and still need to write content for the website.

The Grind

nothing hot or exciting has popped up in quite some time actually. it's been business as usual lately. had this temp thing for the past few weeks, so that's provided some stability. get into the office at 10am, leave whenever the work runs out or whenever i want to, it's so flexible. the good news is it pays great, more than any journalism job does. bad news is that it's proofreading, and after a few hours of sustained attention to 12-point times new roman black font on a white page, my ass hurts and my eyes are ready to bleed. and it's real proofreading, not even copy editing, as in checking two documents against each other to make sure they match. the job has no soul. i hate it, i hate it, i hate it.

but it pays, so i show up ruddy faced and eager each day, red pen in hand. the best thing about being a temp, though, is that you don't need to look busy or pretend to care. when there's downtime, which is often, i just grab the paper and spread it out on my desk, surf the web unashamedly, hop on the phone to socialize. and when my temporary supervisor walks in with more work, i look up, smile, drop my distractions, deliver the proofreading goods in a jiffy and then resume my downtime activities. it's so chill. but i think the assignment is nearing its end, which means maybe another week off before the agency places me somewhere new. it's not a bad scenario. i have no complaints, and no, still haven't heard from dream job yet.

for lack of that aforementioned unifying theme, i'm providing some news in short:

• i consolidated my loans recently, locked them in at a 2.85% interest rate, which is fabulous, and i managed to make the repayments begin early next year, so that's all golden.


• i was a bad girl and didn't fast for yom kippur like i had planned. in my defense, however, i ate very little and mostly drank coffee throughout the day. still, i kinda felt like an asshole, figuring i had enough sins to atone for this past year. i hope G-d's not too pissed with me. next year, i promise.


• i recently went back to USC for this recruiting event, which wasn't very interesting, but i did have a warm feeling as i visited the campus for the first time since i graduated in may. it really warmed the cockles of my heart, though i'm so glad i'm no longer a student. fuck that.


• yogaman/justin and i are still going strong (in case anyone's curious). we had a little weirdness a short while back but managed to overcome it. we were curled up in bed the other night when i realized that it's been close to six months that he and i have been dating -- SIX MONTHS! that tripped me out, more so because of the passage of time element than anything else, but shit, it's all been zooming by. it's all good, though, we're still all smoochie cutesy, poopsie whoopsie. and oh, did i mention he's been living with me since july?


• movie recommendation of the week is 'super-size me,' which i recently rented on DVD. it's about that guy who eats nothing but mcdonald's for a month straight. in that month, he puts on about 25 pounds and almost annihilates his liver. also enjoyable was the first season of the TV show '24.'


• got my ballot in the mail the other day. i vote in every election (ok, not often in the local ones), and i wear that silly 'i voted' sticker all day, proud of my civics contribution. voting for kerry this year. duh. found the presidential debate rather boring -- didn't hear anything i hadn't heard before elsewhere. hoping the next debate will be better.


• i love this cold weather coming in. i'm gonna try out new recipes and aim to make homemade soup weekly this winter. please email recipes to milla666@aol.com or post in comments.

ok, time for snoozing.

(No Subject)

ack, i've been so miserable at blogging lately, but intend to kick it into high gear -- which i've said before and never delivered, but no, really. problem is that i just don't have much to say. i don't want to fill this space with mundane details of my lame-O existence or deposit random ramblings that have (what i hope to be) undertones of profundity. that's a great word, huh? PRO-FUN-DI-TY. sounds like it could be a carnvial ride or something. Puffy should have changed his name to P. Fundity.

anyhow, i'd rather use this space for stories -- good ones, mine and yours -- but given that i'm super short on cash and have been nesting with yogaman lately, i haven't been out and about getting into trouble like i used to. there is a photo essay on my birthday party from last weekend forthcoming. and hopefully there'll be good news from the job front to share.

but for now, it's time for my midday cup of coffee and then a shower.

Awake

sunday morning, coffee cup and cigarette in hand -- ahh, the great american laxative. i'm very awake, very motivated today to do the domestic and mundane chores i need to take care of before dad's day dinner tonight. i'm wearing the T-shirt yogaman left at my place the other night; it smells like him. i've been all kinds of girlie lately.

and all's better since the last post. thanks for the lengthy commentaries to those who indulged my self-indulgence. moved on from it, into the great beyond that lies ahead of any setback. nowadays, i'm trying to steady my focus on the job hunt, as i need a major injection of mulah right about now. (if anyone wants to send me money, feel free.) i have some leads, but my jewish superstitions prevent me from discussing them too openly.

i'm also gearing up for my big birthday party this weekend -- should be a ball -- and monday kicks off my birthday week. that's right, i give myself an entire week to celebrate my life, so i'll be in a good mood for a while. i also have the entire week off from freelance work, which leaves me plenty of time to again do virtually nothing until july, when the dorks in culver city will call me in for more copy-editing. july should also hold a weekend getaway to SF and maybe that trip to new york, if i can squeeze it in somewhere.

shit, this post has been kinda boring, sorry guys.

Hooray for June

i loves me my birthday month, and if you're local and we're tight, expect an invitation to my birthday party, scheduled for the last weekend of this month. i will be 28 and, oddly, this fact doesn't bother me much. i had my oh-my-god-i'm-getting-old freakout when i turned 24 and realized that i wasn't the new kid on the block anymore and that MTV slang now escaped me. that also marked my final year in the coveted 18-24 demographic, with the realization that i would now be grouped with people in their -- gasp! -- thirties in my new box: 25-34. well, it hasn't been so bad after all. things only seem to improve with age, largely because you quit sweating the small stuff and learn to trust life and yourself to take care of what's important. at least that's how it's been for me. i can only hope that my 30th birthday will come and go just as seamlessly (though i have a feeling it will make me panic a bit).

anyhow, not all that much is new. spent the week copyediting. partied some, have had trouble sleeping these past few weeks. the bad news is that juice has been sick all weekend. not sure what she ate, but i came home from work on friday to discover a ruined armchair and the realization that i would have to spend the evening in mopping every square inch of my hardwood floors. twas a nasty sight and she's still not fully recovered.

on saturday, i attended the wedding of my best friend's little sister. strange to see her all grown up and getting married, when i can still remember torturing her in grade school, a fact she constantly reminds me of, saying that i used to throw food at her in the school cafeteria. funny thing is that i caught the bouquet at her wedding, something that's never happened to me before at any wedding. but when i looked up, the flowers were racing right toward me like a bullet and just seemed to land in my hand.

saturday was also the birthday of three very special people who deserve shout-outs. so best of birthday wishes go to mr. david williams, the bestest boss in the world, a dude i like more with each passing day and year that we know each other (how 'bout that raise now, dave?); ms. sharon mor, my estranged israeli soul sister who's living a fabulous life in SF while i miss her terribly back here in LA; and ms. ann dela cruz, an old friend from high school who's still a friend indeed.

Fun with Firearms

i have this great photo essay already prepared with shots from my graduation and from the little soiree i had at my house last week with the annenbergirlies, but for some reason, each time i try to post, only broken links show up. i already sent blogger peeps a note wondering what the hell was going on, as i've posted photos up here before without incident numerous times. i'm still awaiting a response.

but in the meantime, i figured i would throw something up here because i promised myself i would blog 2-3x/wk. ha. so, what's been going on? well, still mostly nothing. been copy editing with my favorite dorks in culver city all last week and that will continue into this and next week.

the most interesting thing about that is that my bossman and the art director took me to the firing range on sunday to shoot some GUNS. wow, what a trip. i had never shot a gun before. it's really a singular experience that's hard to describe; it's like a bomb going off in your hand. when i fired for the first time, i had to stop and step back, thinking there was no way i could continue with it. but once i got over the initial discomfort of being around armed people in an enclosed space, i went to town and did pretty well hitting my paper target. i shot about six different handguns -- four different bullet types: .22, .38, .357 and .45 -- and learned their various parts and how to load each weapon. by the end i had broken a bunch of nails and was covered in lead and gun powder, but i was also kinda high. i felt the testosterone coursing through my veins; felt pretty damn butch.

and why am i playing with firearms, you ask? well, i've been giving some thought to getting a weapon for home defense. poor, helpless single girl like myself living in a one-story guesthouse with no bars on the windows needs some sense of security, however false. i've awoken in a panic numerous nights when i've heard a heavy-pawed animal making its way to my doorstep. it's sounded just like human footsteps on grass and it's freaked me out. i'm not sure i'm gonna actually get one. my (limited) money would probably be better spent on an iPod. i'm conflicted with it all. i mean, i'm a friggin democrat. so it's still under consideration. if anyone has valuable feedback, drop me a line or comment.

otherwise, life has been lovely. still feeling good post-grad, done a bit more yardwork and have either seen or spoken to people i've been meaning to catch up with for quite some time. i anticipate that the coming few weeks will hold more of the same, which is fine by me.

Stuff and Things

i'm going to try to get into the habit of updating every sunday night, and more often than that hopefully. sunday is the funday. no, actually, sundays are worse than mondays because they remind of not only how much shit you need to take care of in the week ahead, but of the shit you never took care of in the week before. so the old shit compounds the new shit to give you a whole lotta shit on your plate. well, my plate.

that's what it feels like sometimes -- that i'm just going through the motions clearing shit off my plate to make room for the new stuff. i'm pretty eager to graduate already, senioritis is setting in. the classes i've chosen for next semester seem like the easiest ones offered. it's not that i hate what i'm doing, i fucking love it and know that i will miss it terribly once my graduate schooling is all done. i just feel like i should dedicate more of this school year to writing papers for publication, not for professors. i need more friggin clips, some bylines that prove that other people believed in me enough to print my ramblings, so you -- new editor -- should too. with this in mind, i'm going to refocus my energies on picking up more assignments for NoHo>LA and be on the hunt for other writing jobs as well. if you know of any, e-mail my ass at milla666@aol.com.

anyhow, the weekend was fairly pleasant. i saw an interesting play on friday night with zahra bizarra and then had a midnight meal with my sugar mcman. saturday saw a day of running a few errands and enduring an ass-kicking flow yoga class. last night i went out a bunch of high school peeps whom i hadn't seen in forever and we caught up on all our new and old times. then i met up with pabs and some of his b-school peeps at an after-hours party in venice. we didn't know too many people there and given that this is hell-lay, no one (us especially) seemed interested in making small talk with strangers, so we bailed at an early 3 am, hit up the always open del taco, and fell into bed near 4.

today i've felt like a complete waste of space.

Stuff and Things

so, another week of not much is coming to a close. things are much calmer this academic year. around this time last year, the whole chicken-with-its-head-cut-off adage would fit right about here. nowadays, i'm actually sleeping in most days and then enjoying long, lazy mornings sipping coffee and reading the online papers. all that will likely change in the coming weeks as i begin my pseudo internship, which is really the second part to my new TAship i mentioned in the last entry. i'll be working for a USC-sponsored agency that provides training to mid-career journos. unfortunately, it doesn't look like i'll be doing much journalism there, just assisting -- gofer stuff.

school is school. turned in two papers last week, have a midterm next week and must grade a bunch of papers this weekend. everything's pretty fucking boring on this end. well, there was one strange thing that happened last night. maybe it's worth mentioning.

i went to one of pablo's business school mixers last night (side note: these party animals seem to have about five a week, crazy business kids) and the most bizarre accident took place. pablo was standing around talking to some people when one of his classmates heard a joke that must have been pretty damn funny because he doubled over laughing and somehow smashed his head against pablo's wine glass. the glass shattered in pabs' hand and the guy's head started gushing blood. pabs comes outside to find me and he's covered in blood and red wine, which was a startling sight on its own. the ambulance shows up in a matter of minutes (rare in hollywood) and paramedics begin to bandage this guy's head. there were no hard feelings, and the guy didn't seem too pained or upset by the incident. it didn't really ruin our night either -- all us kids still kept getting soused and even made an unsuccessful fast food run at 2 a.m. when the bar closed. we woke up late this morning. pabs missed his class and morning meeting.

also, i'm supposed to be in spain right now and i really wish i were. my most favorite couple in the world, juan and kiana, are getting married right outside of madrid this weekend. pabs and i were going to attend, planned on it, but the demands of school and work made it an impossibility. i feel horrible about it, guilty, sad. but, of course, they were very understanding when we broke the news to them. i'm also pretty bummed that i'm missing the party, because knowing these guys, it's gonna be better than good. in their honor, here's a photo: