tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817Wed, 07 Apr 2010 04:32:29 +0000LA-based blogger writes about her riveting life.http://www.millatimes.com/milla/journalmain.htmnoreply@blogger.com (Milla)Blogger353125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-5671624310257557208Tue, 06 Apr 2010 20:02:00 +00002010-04-06T21:32:29.444-07:00schoolthis has to be the most expensive blog entry i’ve ever written. its monetary cost is approximately $420, which doesn’t include the $3 a day parking, plus the cost of all meals, snacks and drinks i consumed while attending The Landmark Forum, a three-day seminar that promises to transform the lives of its attendees in profound, permanent and meaningful ways. i could insert a snarky joke here abouthttp://www.millatimes.com/milla/2010/04/landmark-forum-part-1.htmnoreply@blogger.com (Milla)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-8478116257248391026Sat, 27 Mar 2010 17:08:00 +00002010-03-27T10:23:01.236-07:00one hit wonders... search terms inexplicably pulling up this blog ...my tits my telephone numberjohnny depp antelope valley mallbrent"into a hunchback"tree stump smells badboys bedroom done in mossy oak paneling part way up the walltube galore nipple hangs out of shirtconcrete made cute productnipples like sausage ballsfuck me fukolapuns about stumpsfound my way across the grass only to fall down. sand in my http://www.millatimes.com/milla/2010/03/one-hit-wonders-march-2010.htmnoreply@blogger.com (Milla)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-8645353379273913661Thu, 25 Mar 2010 05:34:00 +00002010-03-24T22:34:55.347-07:00workhomei celebrated TWO big anniversaries this month, one of which produces money while the other just sucks it out of me. if you guessed the anniversaries of 1) being employed at my current job and 2) buying my house, award yourself 10 points.i’m still in disbelief that i really have spent five whole years working at my job — a job i was sure i’d hold for just two or three years when i started. i’m http://www.millatimes.com/milla/2010/03/happy-anniversary-to-me_24.htmnoreply@blogger.com (Milla)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-7322100509072384236Fri, 19 Mar 2010 18:27:00 +00002010-03-19T11:32:09.874-07:00writingPhoto courtesy Matt Graves With the death of Corey Haim the other week, the Two Coreys became just one. This is tragic not only because it puts the final nail in the coffin of Corey Feldman’s languishing career, but also because it puts another celebrity in a coffin. We’ve seen plenty die over the years — child actors as well as the adults — due to drug abuse, their own recklessness and sometimeshttp://www.millatimes.com/milla/2010/03/dish-interested-hard-life-of-celebrity.htmnoreply@blogger.com (Milla)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-2105806645596975968Sat, 13 Mar 2010 21:13:00 +00002010-03-13T13:14:00.391-08:00stuff and thingsmeaty march: after four weeks of eating nothing but fresh veggies and fish — and feeling fantastic physically — i undid any benefit it gave my body in the first three days of march by consuming an obscene meat cornucopia that included bacon burgers and tacos filled with carne asada, carnitas, al pastor and birria. i felt guilty about exactly NONE of it, even when the stomach pains rendered me http://www.millatimes.com/milla/2010/03/stuff-and-things.htmnoreply@blogger.com (Milla)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-2787915207661013727Sat, 27 Feb 2010 23:51:00 +00002010-02-27T15:52:34.633-08:00home improvementhomethe before shot: the original coffee station consisted of one of Mo’s old bookshelves that was repurposed to hold the mugs. it was simple and functional, and i was happy with it. though Mo felt it didn’t match the rest of the kitchen, which was more stylized. he thought the area needed some pizzazz. did i just write “pizzazz”? we went to our home away from home, Ikea, to get some ideas. Mo http://www.millatimes.com/milla/2010/02/home-improvement-chronicles-coffee.htmnoreply@blogger.com (Milla)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-8215724440501534694Fri, 26 Feb 2010 02:42:00 +00002010-02-25T18:54:05.753-08:00one hit wondersthis month’s search terms inexplicably pulling up this blog are all about the sexxxy time. and now that i wrote “sexxy,” i will get a million variations of “sexxxy milla fucking sex tit cock dog.” and now that i wrote that, well, you know...girls with big feet and barking coughheavily pierced tits hanging out of corseti love hating sarah palinskunk smell satanistdating@hotmail.comfree pictures ofhttp://www.millatimes.com/milla/2010/02/one-hit-wonders-february-2010.htmnoreply@blogger.com (Milla)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-4388773492771882924Tue, 23 Feb 2010 16:07:00 +00002010-02-23T15:05:33.443-08:00writinggot two more stories published on Osmosis Online, neither of which is a Dish-Interested piece. i don’t think i’ll be doing too many non-Dish pieces as i don’t have a ton of bandwidth lately, but these two were easy to repurpose and timely for Valentine’s Day. first up is a modified version of the blog post i wrote recently about my dad’s heart surgery. big thank you to all who reached out and http://www.millatimes.com/milla/2010/02/broken-hearts-for-valentines-day.htmnoreply@blogger.com (Milla)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-3331332085658697929Tue, 16 Feb 2010 02:02:00 +00002010-02-15T18:02:52.903-08:00foodi wish i could say it’s been easy, but the truth is i’ve been fantasizing about all manner of meat since day one. the cravings have been pretty steady, waning only slightly in the past few days as i’ve renewed my dedication to make it to the end of the month with no cheating and, perhaps, even extend it into march. the maddening, constant hunger of the first week has also finally passed, leaving http://www.millatimes.com/milla/2010/02/meatless-february.htmnoreply@blogger.com (Milla)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-7801827450031239174Fri, 12 Feb 2010 18:11:00 +00002010-02-12T10:29:55.863-08:00writingPhoto courtesy Osmosis OnlineIt’s Oscar season, superstars — the time of year all A-listers love! It’s a chance for celebrities to pull themselves away from the hard work they do for humanity each day and enjoy a night of endless fawning and accolades, which we all know makes them very uncomfortable.But they put on a brave, Botoxed face and suffer through a night of dressing up in designer duds, http://www.millatimes.com/milla/2010/02/dish-interested-id-like-to-thank.htmnoreply@blogger.com (Milla)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-9091667807793660250Sat, 06 Feb 2010 08:43:00 +00002010-02-06T00:44:30.312-08:00familylovethese are words i never care to hear again, especially from my father, who called me the other week to say, “you might want to sit down for this. i went to the cardiologist and he said my heart has a clogged artery. i need to have surgery this friday to open it.” thankfully, i had sat down, though i’m not sure it made the news any easier to hear. it sounded bad, very bad. my father was basically http://www.millatimes.com/milla/2010/02/you-might-want-to-sit-down-for-this.htmnoreply@blogger.com (Milla)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-4052396392459509417Sat, 30 Jan 2010 23:34:00 +00002010-01-30T15:44:13.346-08:00one hit wondersheavy petting to frustrationhope 2010 brings promises of greater heights to conquersunshine daye lesbian wedding"dating a yoga instructor"che guevara rogue brewall russian online sex and friend dating @hotmail.com . emails 2003/2010will the world get destroyed on 2010men drinking and massaging milky breast milla tube galorenipples and big tits on the dinner menuwhy did some homes in the 1930's http://www.millatimes.com/milla/2010/01/one-hit-wonders-january-2010.htmnoreply@blogger.com (Milla)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-83964920944321162Wed, 27 Jan 2010 06:37:00 +00002010-01-26T23:33:58.678-08:00travelabout to get sauced: the big day finally arrived! my baby cousin was going to get married, which was the whole reason behind this trip. thankfully, i had packed a flowy, flowery dress to wear for the occasion that did a good job hiding my emerging beer belly.non-beer belly: my cousin Mike (on the right) and his new bride Kerry are efficient people. not only was their wedding ceremony short and http://www.millatimes.com/milla/2010/01/roadtrip-portland-part-2-of-2.htmnoreply@blogger.com (Milla)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-6696457150207636427Mon, 25 Jan 2010 06:50:00 +00002010-01-24T23:04:06.941-08:00writingplease note that Dish-Interested, my nonsensical celebrity gossip column, now has its own fan page on Facebook! granted, i created the fan page to shamelessly self-promote, but i can't create a million fake user accounts to populate the fan page so you need to either 1) do it for me; or 2) become a fan. (option 2 is easier.) thanks for the support and tell your book publisher friends! what http://www.millatimes.com/milla/2010/01/dish-interested-double-feature.htmnoreply@blogger.com (Milla)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-6728878801419667598Tue, 19 Jan 2010 05:07:00 +00002010-01-18T21:33:56.763-08:00resolutionsoh hello, blog. how are you? i am fine, thanks for asking. i know it’s been a long time since i’ve given you proper attention. i have a lot of excuses for neglecting you for so long, but none of them are any good. sure, i’ve been keeping busy with freelance work, some socializing, and a few lazy days of reading in bed and watching Jersey Shore online. it’s been a lovely reprieve, to be sure, but http://www.millatimes.com/milla/2010/01/annual.htmnoreply@blogger.com (Milla)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-9107527318613052474Thu, 07 Jan 2010 16:16:00 +00002010-01-07T08:16:25.285-08:00doglinessi’ll give you one guess who that somebody could be. i suppose it was only a matter of time. the skunk and Pinko had been flirting for months, maybe even a year, with a few near encounters averted only by my seeing the skunk first and screaming at Pinko to GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW, which she would do at lightning speed, confused by why the hell i was yelling. then i would shoo the Pinks back into http://www.millatimes.com/milla/2010/01/somebody-was-sprayed-in-face-by-skunk.htmnoreply@blogger.com (Milla)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-485630396600523329Mon, 04 Jan 2010 06:28:00 +00002010-01-03T22:28:52.422-08:00Videodoglinesshttp://www.millatimes.com/milla/2010/01/in-2010-world-will-be-destroyed.htmnoreply@blogger.com (Milla)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-5637223148121088394Wed, 30 Dec 2009 04:44:00 +00002009-12-29T20:53:37.525-08:00one hit wondersalbufeira+happy ending massagetiger woods doughnut waitress case of the sadsdrunk attention whoreaccidentally swallowed shell crab or mussel or clamhow far is eureka from the oregon border?iron pills feeling edgycan i leave room now deo we big finish yeah men"learning tree international" ridiculemexico wastelandshorrendous pierced lactating titscan you eat milla plantpour out a little liquorhttp://www.millatimes.com/milla/2009/12/one-hit-wonders-december-2009.htmnoreply@blogger.com (Milla)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-6577502560803815180Wed, 23 Dec 2009 01:07:00 +00002009-12-22T17:08:50.088-08:00holidaysi know i’ve been lousy about posting lately, but it’s the holidays and i’m milking the little downtime i have. more frequent posting will resume after the new year. for now, allow me to send this holiday e-greeting to your mantle, but please do NOT place it next to the card sent by your dentist. he’s a creep. put it next to your favorite friend’s card. a little to the right. that’s better. http://www.millatimes.com/milla/2009/12/seasonal-greetings.htmnoreply@blogger.com (Milla)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-7854129695397760536Mon, 14 Dec 2009 01:46:00 +00002009-12-14T17:42:13.384-08:00whiningso much for rest and relaxation during december. i had severely miscalculated this month, thinking foolishly that i would spend it living a leisurely existence. i was sure i’d finally get some downtime at work, with weekends free to gallivant with friends and finally accomplish the myriad low priority items that have been languishing on my to-do list for months (hello, cleaning out the garage), http://www.millatimes.com/milla/2009/12/decembered.htmnoreply@blogger.com (Milla)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-6687360352859283658Tue, 08 Dec 2009 16:01:00 +00002009-12-08T08:04:32.115-08:00writingPhoto courtesy of Osmosis OnlineOh, Tiger Woods, we hardly knew you! On the list of public figures most likely to be a philanderer, who would have put you at the top? Even though you are a pro athlete — and we all know pro athletes are prone to cheating (*cough* *cough* Kobe) — the squeaky clean image you’ve spent your entire career cultivating rendered you so impossibly vanilla that when rumors http://www.millatimes.com/milla/2009/12/dish-interested-cheating-101-for-tiger.htmnoreply@blogger.com (Milla)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-5010577950645074928Sun, 29 Nov 2009 07:12:00 +00002009-11-28T23:38:21.054-08:00one hit wondersthis month's search terms inexplicably pulling up my blog have a distinctively instructional feel to them, as though people are using The Milla Times in the same way they would use wikipedia, though in my case they are looking for erotic stories on nipple touchers. erotic stories of nipple toucher how do you pronounce raidis an introduction of an argumentative eassy on sweets,crips and fizzy http://www.millatimes.com/milla/2009/11/one-hit-wonders-november-2009.htmnoreply@blogger.com (Milla)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-1984146773202964540Mon, 23 Nov 2009 07:21:00 +00002009-11-23T11:19:10.480-08:00holidaysin case you haven’t heard, thanksgiving is fast approaching and bringing with it a chance to reflect on all the blessings i normally take for granted in addition to an opportunity to eat until i burst. the latter i already accomplished during an early thanksgiving meal held at my parents’ place, who decided to ditch the family and spend the upcoming four-day weekend relaxing poolside in palm http://www.millatimes.com/milla/2009/11/thankful-for-taco-sauce.htmnoreply@blogger.com (Milla)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-6632543292255657138Fri, 20 Nov 2009 04:06:00 +00002009-11-19T20:13:07.590-08:00writingpoliticsCourtesy of Osmosis OnlineThere are plenty of reasons to hate Sarah Palin: She’s hokey, inarticulate, whiny, incurious and provincial — a quitter who’s prone to blaming others for her own missteps. Hating Sarah has become a national pastime akin to any other sport that keeps score and revels in recounting the bad plays of the game.We’ve seen these plays televised in perfectly packaged soundbytes http://www.millatimes.com/milla/2009/11/dish-interested-why-i-love-sarah-palin.htmnoreply@blogger.com (Milla)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-2729382315293452426Tue, 17 Nov 2009 06:50:00 +00002009-11-16T22:50:13.029-08:00travelfoodwe made it: it took 1,500 miles, but the long and winding road finally led Mo and i to the state line, which we plowed through absented-mindedly until Mo noticed the change in pavement that indicated our entry into Oregon. we turned back to get this shot and if you look closely, you can see that i’m saying, “hurry up and take the picture already. i’m lying in the fucking road.” thankfully, it washttp://www.millatimes.com/milla/2009/11/roadtrip-oregon-border-to-portland-part.htmnoreply@blogger.com (Milla)